My Story Empire colleague and good friend, D.L. Finn, has started a new monthly blog challenge based on an image. I’m excited and hope to be able to participate each month. Remember when Sooz Burke used to do these challenges? I’ve missed them. So, thank you for the nudge, Denise!
Here is the image and the link to the original challenge blog: https://dlfinnauthor.com/2025/01/14/creative-perspective-challenge-one-writingchallenge-flashfiction-poetry-writingcommunity-creativeperspectivechallenge/
“Hey, Jeffery, you in here?” I hold the lantern high hoping to see farther into the depths of the cave. Shallow pools of water form and my tennis shoe sinks into one, wetting my foot.
A shuffling sound from the darkened corners sends shivers up my spine. I swear I saw my brother run in here. “Jeffery,” I call louder. “Stop playin’ around. If you’re in here, come out. Mom’ll be waiting supper for us.”
No answer. I tentatively take a few more steps deeper into the cave. The hair on the back of my neck prickles as cool air and the swoosh of wings pass by my head. What was that? A bat? Something worse? I duck and grip the lantern tighter.
I’ve heard the stories told around campfires about the haunted cave and the creatures that inhabit it. People go in and never come out.
But my little brother ran in here. I know it. And, I can’t go home without him. So, I take a few more steps in, swinging the lantern from side to side to illuminate the shadows.
Something moves. Something whimpers. I want to turn and run, but I’m rooted to the spot. I have to find Jeffery.
I take a deep breath, square my shoulders and descend farther into the darkness. Stalactites drip water as I pass under them. In the musty dampness, I can imagine thousands of vampire bats clinging to the walls, or worse yet, bears or wolves who would regard my presence as a threat. While I love a good adventure, this a bit more than I want.
A yelp echoes off the cavern walls. “Jeffery. You better answer me. I know you’re in here. If you don’t come out now, I’m gonna have your hide.”
Finally, I hear a muffled cry and hurry toward the sound. There he is. I see him. His foot is caught between the rocks and he holds a puppy in his arms. Tears stream down his five-year-old face. “It hurts, Justin.”
I rush forward only to be pushed back by a fierce roar. “Don’t move, Jeffery. Whatever you do, be still. I’ll get you.” But how? This must be the home of a large animal and we have intruded on his or her territory. Yet, I have to get my brother and we have to get out of here.
I extinguish the lantern and drop to my knees, crawling silently across the damp rocks, darkness clawing at my skin. Something slimy crawls across my hand and it’s everything I can do not to scream. “I’m coming, little brother,” I whisper.
Jeffery’s whimpers quieten.
When I reach him, after what seems like an eternity, I see his predicament. Apparently, a rock slipped when he stepped on it and his foot is now wedged tight. “What on earth were you thinking, Jeffery? Don’t you know we aren’t supposed to play in here.”
“I had to.” He held up the puppy. “I couldn’t let anything eat him.”
“Okay, fine. We have to be quiet. I’m going to get you out of here.” I move the rocks one at a time until I can pull his foot out.
As soon as he’s free, I pick him up and dash back toward the mouth of the cave ignoring angry roars behind us. I don’t stop to grab the lantern. Father will be angry that I lost it, but at least we’ll be alive.
When I clear the cave entrance, I set Jeffery down and take a closer look at the pup he was so determined to rescue. The little guy isn’t moving, not making a sound.
“Jeffery, I’m sorry. I think you were too late. I don’t think he’s alive.”
Tears stream down my little brother’s face. “No. He can’t be dead. He called to me to come and get him and a nice man showed me the way.”
“Man? What are you talking about? There’s nobody here.”
“There was. I swear it. He had a white beard and a walking stick. He showed me where the puppy was.” Jeffery buries his face in the pup’s black fur and the little dog starts to wiggle. In the next moment, the pup is licking the tears off Jeffery’s face and squirming in his arms.
“Well, I’ll be. Looks like he’s gonna be okay.” I hoist my brother who is still holding the puppy, onto my back pondering Jeffery’s words. Surely the man was a figment of his imagination.
Before I turn for home, I give the cave a backward glance and my breath hitches. A glowing light emanates from the mouth of the cave and out of that light a white-haired man steps, drops my lantern on the ground, then smiles at me and disappears into thin air. I shake my head and blink my eyes.
I must be going crazy.
Hope you enjoyed my attempt at responding to the prompt. If you want to join in, click HERE.
Have a great weekend!
Nice one, Jan – but you had me worried about the puppy for a second there!
Oh, I couldn’t let the puppy NOT be okay. 🙂 So glad you enjoyed it!
Wonderful story, Jan. Thanks for sharing it.
My pleasure, Craig. Thanks for stopping by!
That was a fun story, Jan. I’m glad everything worked out after all those tense moments and creepy sounds. I look forward to participating in Denise’s challenges (after my tour). It looks like great fun.
Yay! I’m so glad you are going to join in, Diana, and I look forward to your contribution. Thank you for visiting. I’m glad you enjoyed the story.
Probably not until March for me, but I’m looking forward to it!
March is good. 🙂
You did a really good job of describing the atmosphere of the cave. I felt like I was in it. And I’m relieved that the brothers and dog made it out of the cave okay! 🙂
Thank you, Dave. Yes, I am a sucker for happy endings. 🙂 I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment!
That was a fantastic story, Jan! You put just the right amount of tension, and I loved the ending!
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
Thanks so much, Yvette!
This had everything I love in it, Jan. So happy the little puppy was saved, and the brother! I like how you ended it with the ghost or angel giving back the lantern. Thank you for joining in. Well done. xo
I loved participating in this challenge, Denise. It’s been such a long time since I attempted anything like this. Glad you are nudging us!!
That was a fun and intriguing cave story. I was wondering what the roaring thing was, but it was an old man, maybe a ghost.
I left that part to the reader’s imagination. It could have even been the boy’s own fear. 😁 So glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for visiting!
That’s a great story, Jan. I couldn’t handle a dog dying.
Nope. Me either, Dan. The puppy had to live. 🙂 Thanks for visiting!
A super story, Jan. Even the lantern was saved. I’ll bet going back to the cave is not going to be a big priority.
Lol! I didn’t want the boy to get into trouble with his father for losing the lantern. What can I say? I’m a sucker for happy endings. Thanks for stopping by, John!
It was a nice touch.
This is a fantastic story, Jan, so imaginative! You are so creative!
Thank you so much, Tim. I appreciate you kind words!
A great story! I’m glad the puppy was OK.
Oh, definitely, Darlene. Couldn’t stand it if it wasn’t. I do love happy endings. Thank you for stopping by!
I love this story, Jan!
Thanks so much, Kymber!
Nice job on the challenge, Jan. I’ve taken a tour inside a cave where the guide asks everyone to not move and then turns off the lighting inside. It was the eeriest feeling not being able to see any light.
I’ve had that experience as well, Pete. Where I grew up was a short distance from the Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico. When they’d turn out the lights, I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face. Eerie is a good word to describe it. Thanks for stopping by!
I love stories about caves. This is very nice.
Thanks, Jacqui. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
This is a sweet story, Jan. I do believe in angels!
As do I, Priscilla. And they can take any form. I enjoyed participating in the challenge!