It is with a huge sense of loss that I write this post. My big sister, Jean, left this world on 6-21, gained her angel wings, and is now flying high in peace. This is my tribute to her.
Norma Jean Marie Smith was born on February 3, 1936 in Sayre, Oklahoma. My mother was 18 when she gave birth, and it was smack in the middle of the Great Depression. As young newlyweds, my parents had nothing—no home, no stability. They were migrant workers, going wherever they could find work in the fields. If they were lucky, they had a tent to protect them from the elements. And that is how this baby with four names came into the world. Sixteen years my senior, she the was the oldest, me the baby of the family.
This is a photo of all five of us kids. Jean is the one with the necklace, holding me.
And, oh, how I looked up to her. My sister, Linda, shared a beautiful Facebook post remembering some of the special ways Jean influenced our growing-up years. If you’d like to see the post, you can visit her Facebook Page.
I won’t repeat what she already shared, but what I do want to talk about is how Jean willingly and gracefully stepped into the role of mentor and guide when I left home at 18 in 1969.
She became my biggest guiding influence and a rock I could always lean on. Knowing how we’d been raised so sheltered and restricted, she set Linda and me up on dates with single guys from the factory where she worked. Linda wound up marrying one of those boys. We had so much to learn, and she was a patient and kind teacher.
I will never think of Max Factor Pan-Stick makeup without thinking of Jean.
I left home knowing absolutely nothing about the world. She had to teach me how to put on makeup, how to shave my legs, and how to drink. She said, “Always drink scotch and soda, and you won’t get sick.”
Did I listen? Well, of course not, but she was right.
She was the most elegant, beautiful woman I ever knew. She didn’t fit in with the rest of my poverty-stricken family. She had the gift of gab and a quick smile that made everyone feel at ease.
With limited education and starting below zero, she demonstrated how to be a success in life. She had class, grit, ambition, and a huge heart full of love.
She married for the first time when I was just a baby, so I have no memory of her ever living in the house with us. But I have many memories of going to her house, clomping around in her high heel shoes, and putting on her lipstick. She had a tiny foot, so the shoes were really not too big, and what fun it was pretending to be a lady.
However, she took an even more active role in my life once I left home, giving me my first job as the receptionist at a boiler factory in Abilene, Texas. That set the course for my entire working career. If you’ve read my biographical fiction books, she is the character Norma. She was there to help me pick up the pieces when Rick was arrested and sent to prison. She refused to let me become a hermit and withdraw from life. She was there when I was raising my two girls as a single mom. She would often come to Shreveport to visit, and one of our favorite things to do was to go to the horse races and bet on the ponies. She loved to travel and see new places. I inherited some of her gypsy blood. Once, she picked up my girls and me and took us, along with my mom, to the diamond mines in Arkansas in her RV. My girls thought Aunt Jean was pretty cool (and so did I).
When Rick and I got married, she made my wedding cake AND paid for a photographer, without which I would have no wedding photos. She supported my decision, while the rest of my family had serious reservations about the marriage.
I could go on and on about the strong influence she had on my life path. I am so glad she was my big sister. And now, her journey here is done.
This is one of the last pictures we had together.
I felt the need to tell the world what an amazing human being my sister was and how she influenced such huge parts of my life. I would not be who I am today without her.
This is a poem I wrote a couple of years ago when she faced a serious illness.
MY BIG SISTER, JEAN
I was barely eighteen when I left home
I was young and green, the world unknown
God knew I’d need someone to help me learn
The pitfalls of life, the wisdom to earn
So, he purposely created my big sister, Jean
With the grace of a Goddess, the heart of a Queen
She gently guided, yet let me chart my own course
She was always there, my dreams to reinforce
Still that same courageous woman today
She’s molded straight from the Creator’s clay
I wanted to find the right words to portray
What my sister means to me in a beauty way
So, I wrote this poem hoping she will see
What a wonderful big sister she is to me!
I love you, Jean, and I’m so grateful for all the memories…