It is with a huge sense of loss that I write this post. My big sister, Jean, left this world on 6-21, gained her angel wings, and is now flying high in peace. This is my tribute to her.
Norma Jean Marie Smith was born on February 3, 1936 in Sayre, Oklahoma. My mother was 18 when she gave birth, and it was smack in the middle of the Great Depression. As young newlyweds, my parents had nothing—no home, no stability. They were migrant workers, going wherever they could find work in the fields. If they were lucky, they had a tent to protect them from the elements. And that is how this baby with four names came into the world. Sixteen years my senior, she the was the oldest, me the baby of the family.
This is a photo of all five of us kids. Jean is the one with the necklace, holding me.
And, oh, how I looked up to her. My sister, Linda, shared a beautiful Facebook post remembering some of the special ways Jean influenced our growing-up years. If you’d like to see the post, you can visit her Facebook Page.
I won’t repeat what she already shared, but what I do want to talk about is how Jean willingly and gracefully stepped into the role of mentor and guide when I left home at 18 in 1969.
She became my biggest guiding influence and a rock I could always lean on. Knowing how we’d been raised so sheltered and restricted, she set Linda and me up on dates with single guys from the factory where she worked. Linda wound up marrying one of those boys. We had so much to learn, and she was a patient and kind teacher.
I will never think of Max Factor Pan-Stick makeup without thinking of Jean.
I left home knowing absolutely nothing about the world. She had to teach me how to put on makeup, how to shave my legs, and how to drink. She said, “Always drink scotch and soda, and you won’t get sick.”
Did I listen? Well, of course not, but she was right.
She was the most elegant, beautiful woman I ever knew. She didn’t fit in with the rest of my poverty-stricken family. She had the gift of gab and a quick smile that made everyone feel at ease.
With limited education and starting below zero, she demonstrated how to be a success in life. She had class, grit, ambition, and a huge heart full of love.
She married for the first time when I was just a baby, so I have no memory of her ever living in the house with us. But I have many memories of going to her house, clomping around in her high heel shoes, and putting on her lipstick. She had a tiny foot, so the shoes were really not too big, and what fun it was pretending to be a lady.
However, she took an even more active role in my life once I left home, giving me my first job as the receptionist at a boiler factory in Abilene, Texas. That set the course for my entire working career. If you’ve read my biographical fiction books, she is the character Norma. She was there to help me pick up the pieces when Rick was arrested and sent to prison. She refused to let me become a hermit and withdraw from life. She was there when I was raising my two girls as a single mom. She would often come to Shreveport to visit, and one of our favorite things to do was to go to the horse races and bet on the ponies. She loved to travel and see new places. I inherited some of her gypsy blood. Once, she picked up my girls and me and took us, along with my mom, to the diamond mines in Arkansas in her RV. My girls thought Aunt Jean was pretty cool (and so did I).
When Rick and I got married, she made my wedding cake AND paid for a photographer, without which I would have no wedding photos. She supported my decision, while the rest of my family had serious reservations about the marriage.
I could go on and on about the strong influence she had on my life path. I am so glad she was my big sister. And now, her journey here is done.
This is one of the last pictures we had together.
I felt the need to tell the world what an amazing human being my sister was and how she influenced such huge parts of my life. I would not be who I am today without her.
This is a poem I wrote a couple of years ago when she faced a serious illness.
MY BIG SISTER, JEAN
I was barely eighteen when I left home
I was young and green, the world unknown
God knew I’d need someone to help me learn
The pitfalls of life, the wisdom to earn
So, he purposely created my big sister, Jean
With the grace of a Goddess, the heart of a Queen
She gently guided, yet let me chart my own course
She was always there, my dreams to reinforce
Still that same courageous woman today
She’s molded straight from the Creator’s clay
I wanted to find the right words to portray
What my sister means to me in a beauty way
So, I wrote this poem hoping she will see
What a wonderful big sister she is to me!
I love you, Jean, and I’m so grateful for all the memories…
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What a beautiful family and such a beautiful family. I am so sorry for the loss of your sister Jan❣️
Thank you, Cindy.
A beautiful tribute to your sister, Jan. I know she is smiling down at you from above. Sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Mark.
My pleasure, Jan.
Your love for your big sis shines through this post and your poem, Jan! Sounds like she was your guardian angel on Earth. Sending comforting hugs your way. XOXO
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
Thank you, Yvette. I appreciate your kind words and hugs.
Such a touching post about your beautiful sister, Jan. I had to run for a tissue halfway through. You made me think about how deeply our siblings touch our lives, and even more so, how Jean touched yours and was there for you. I have a feeling, from her many smiles, that she loved her role and loved you. <3 <3
I’m sorry I made you run for tissues, Diana, but glad the post made you reflect on your own siblings. They are definitely an influence on our lives. Jean loved life. She loved traveling, meeting new people and having fun. She had such a great sense of humor. Anyway, thank you for your comment. Hugs!
My heart is with you and yours, Jan. <3 <3
Jan, your beautiful relationship with your sister Jean reminded me of my similar one with my Aunty Sherry – right down to the pan stick makeup! 🙂
Again, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know there are no right words. But yes, she’s with the angels now. <3
Lol, Debby. The pan stick makeup was certainly popular back in the seventies. It was cutting edge. 🙂 I’m glad my post brought up some happy memories for you. Thank you for your loving thoughts.
Big hugs to you. <3
Thank you Jan. I lost my older sister in November last year. I still think about her every day.
I am so sorry for your loss, Joy. It’s not easy. Thank you for your comment.
This is a wonderful tribute to your sister, Jan. You were very lucky to have her there for you in your life. It’s hard losing people who are this close and this important. I’m sure she will live on in your memories and in your books. I am sorry for your loss.
You are so right, Dan. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
A big sister is supposed to guide her younger sister like Jean did you. You must have especially appreciated her support when you married Rick. It takes courage to go against the grain. Lovely post, Jan!
It certainly does, Pete, but she stood by me. Thank you for your kind words.
I love her beautiful smile and the twinkle in her eyes. I’m so sorry, Jan {{hugs}}
Thank you, Jacquie!
You’ve created such a beautiful tribute to your sister, Jan. She truly does sound like an amazing human being. Thank you for sharing her with us. Thinking of you during this time and sending positive vibes and warm hugs your way.
Thank you, Mar, for your sweet comment. I appreciate your kind thoughts, positive vibes and warm hugs.
This is a beautiful tribute to your sister, Jan. I am so sorry for your loss and hope the memories that you have of your sister help ease your sorrow.
Thank you, John. I appreciate your kind comment.
Jan, my most sincere condolences.
I’ve lost three out of five siblings since 2002; every time, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
I’m so sorry.
Frank ________________________________
Thank you, Frank. It is so hard to lose any of our loved ones, but this one really hurt. I appreciate your comment.
What a heart-felt tribute to your lovely sister Jan! Such wonderful memories! Thanks for sharing them with us. May her soul rest in peace. May God grant you strength to reconcile with the loss. Sending you a big hug.
Thank you, Balroop. I appreciate you stopping by, and I accept your big hug with an open heart.
A beautiful tribute Jan! Jean sounds like the big sister all young girls needed. So glad you got her. I’m sorry for your loss!?
She was a wonderful big sister, and we were so blessed to have her for as long as we did. Thank you for your comment, Linda.
Hi Jan, this is such a touching post. I am so glad you had Jean to help you along your life’s path. ??
Thank you, Robbie. I cannot imagine what would have happened to me in life without her guidance and support. I appreciate you stopping by.
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What an amazing tribute to your beautiful sister, Jan. You were very blessed to have had her in your life and I am so sorry for you and your family’s loss. Sending love and hugs xo
You are so right, Denise. I was very blessed, as were we all, to have Jean in our lives for such a long time. Thank you for your kindness. Hugs back to you, my friend.
Oh, my…I was in tears reading your beautiful tribute to your sister. My heart aches with yours, Jan. Sister friends are a treasure, and I thank the Universe for mine each and every day. Surrounding you with prayers, hugs, and lots of love. Take care, my friend. xo
Thank you, Mary. I deeply appreciate your prayers and hugs and will take all the love you can send my way. Hugs back to you!
By the time I finished this, I felt like crying–for the loss of such a good friend, I think. Those are hard to come by. I am so happy she was in your life, Jan.
Thank you for your heartfelt comment, Jacqui. I appreciate you. Hugs!
This is a beautiful baring of your heart, Sister. Everything was perfectly said and I know she’d protest at taking a lot of credit but she never really knew the depth of her influence on us and our family. I thank God He put her in our lives. God knew we needed her and she had so much love to give. She was happiest around family and friends and doing what she loved. It hurts to lose her, but we have no choice. We still have to go on and complete our journey. I love you dearly, Jan.
True words, sister. We have to carry on with a smile and that’s what she’d want. Thank you for adding your thoughts and I loved your Facebook post. Love you!
What a beautiful family you have, Jan. And what a perfect tribute to your big sister, who was clearly lovely inside and out. I’m sure your memories of her will always warm your heart. Prayers for you and yours. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much, Staci. I appreciate your kindness.
Oh, no, I am so sorry for your loss, dear Jan. I don’t know how it must feel when the first sibling passes away. Of course, there is a big difference in the age. However, all your siblings have been there for all your life. Thank you so much for sharing the biography of your wonderful sister. It is a tribute filled with love and deep appreciation. Sending you big hugs and wishing you much strength during these days and weeks. Much love to you, Jan ?
Thank you, sweet lady. I appreciate the kindness hugs and good wishes. Hugs.
?Always, Jan?
A beautiful tribute to a beautiful lady. I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Joan.
A wonderful tribute, indeed, Jan, and how lucky you were to have such a loving and caring sister for so many years. I’m sorry she’s moved on, and I know how much you will miss her, but I believe she’s still watching over you, even now. Sending you love and prayers. ❤️
Thank you, Marcia. Yes, she will still be watching over her loved ones, I have no doubt. I appreciate your love and prayers.
I’m so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a great lady.
Thank you, Jeanne. She was the best big sister a girl could ever want.
This is such a beautiful tribute to your loving and caring sister, Jan. Thank you for sharing a part of Jean with us. I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying for you. xo
Thank you, Jill.
Wonderful tribute. So sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Craig.
<3
Thank you, Annette.
This is a lovely and heartwarming tribute to your beautiful and kind sister, Jan. I’m glad to get to know her a little bit. She’ll be greatly missed by you and many people. May your memories of her be your comfort.
Thank you, Miriam.
Jan, this is a beautiful and touching tribute to your sister. It is sad to see our loved ones go, but I am comforted knowing I will see them again. My prayers are with you.
Thank you, Karen. And you are so right.
A great tribute to your awesome sister. How lucky you were to have her in your life. Ahe will be missed. Sending love and hugs.
Thank you, Darlene. I appreciate your comment.
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