Last week, we met an amazing resilient artist, Amelia Presley, and learned a little about her story of child abuse. This week, she is going a little deeper and sharing more that I am confident you will find compelling. Thank you for all the comments and shares last week! My followers are the BEST!
I’ll turn it back over to Amelia.
It was very difficult to start talking about “Harm Nobody Else.” I felt that as an adult, I learned to overcome so much. I made it through abusive relationships and decided not to put up with that type of treatment anymore. I joined the military and overcame sexual harassment and abuse. I became a very tough person on the outside.
The Commanding Officer at my first unit referred to me as “stoic.” I gained a reputation of being someone who could take anything thrown my way. I was thought of as strong, and believed that I finally was. The truth is that I had just learned to take any type of abuse and bury it under a tough exterior.
When I told my story publicly, it felt like a huge weight was lifted and was replaced by the weight of pulling that truth into myself. I fell into a very deep depression, but for once, I expected it. I prepared myself to have thoughts of suicide and I did. But since I was prepared to have those thoughts, I was able to get through them. I learned a pretty life-changing lesson through that. I remember lying in bed feeling as if I wanted to disappear. I had no need to reach out for help. I didn’t want help. I wanted to die. Then I remembered to just push through. I told myself to just wait and the thoughts would pass. Sure enough, it wasn’t long until they were gone. Then came the revelation moment. Thoughts of suicide are intrusive. They happen when your mind is not firing on all cylinders. Thinking of all you have to live for during that time does not help, because your mind is not well. Thinking of all you have to live for only makes sense to a mind that is thinking logically. People who suffer from depression should prepare themselves to expect those thoughts to come, but to just remember to wait. Wait and wait until those thoughts pass.
I decided to record a music video for “Harm Nobody Else” by myself in the home where the abuse took place. My three-year-old daughter played me in the video. The decision to cast my daughter came from a very heavy moment in the studio while I was recording the song. That entire day was magic. The people who where with me in the studio were so supportive, cheering me on through the process. Toward the end of the day, I finally broke down. I was recording one last run on the vocals when I started to visualize what the music video would entail. I started to see the words I was singing play out, and I saw my story from start to finish with me as a three-year-old child. My daughter is the same age as I was when the abuse began and I suddenly saw her face replacing mine. Then I broke and stopped singing. I started to cry and couldn’t gather my composure. I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone harming her. She’s so little. I decided soon after that, I had to have her play me as a child in the music video.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahopvWfFCwU]
I needed the video to be painful because without that, it wouldn’t be real. It’s so easy to go about life and block the injustices of the world out of your mind. That’s a big reason why abuse remains a secret. A “Behind The Scenes” portion was added to the end of the video to show that my daughter was actually having fun when we recorded the scenes. I’m extremely proud of her for taking directions so well, and showing the emotions I was asking her to show. She won’t know how big of a part she played until she is much older. Her performance will change people’s lives.
Facing your own truth is the hardest thing you’ll ever do in life. But it is also the most liberating thing you’ll ever do.
I am dedicated to documenting my healing process in sequence, so that others may feel empowered to do the same. I am dedicated to showing every unpolished truth about the process. That includes insecurities, “mess-ups” on stage, such as my performance on The Country Network when I choked from the nerves of knowing I was about to tell my story before playing “Harm Nobody Else.” It includes being honest about depression and anxiety. It includes being honest about thoughts of suicide.
I want anyone who’s been through any type of abuse to know this: You didn’t ask for the cards you were dealt. It’s time to pass the back to the dealer.
Your abuser will more than likely never accept the blame, but that does not mean that you have to hold onto it. The blame is NOT yours! The shame is NOT yours.
THIS IS NOT YOUR SECRET!
You can follow Amelia’s jouirney here:
https://www.facebook.com/ameliapresleymusic/
https://twitter.com/amelia_presley?
https://www.instagram.com/ameliapresleymusic/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdKSUwVyy7WzSI96mKxfbnw
Thank you for the insight into your mind while contemplating suicide. Perspective is key, and your words are powerful. Talking about the good in one’s life doesn’t filter into suicidal thoughts very often. I have no doubt your words, your song, and your journey will impact people all over the world. Kudos to you for finding the strength and the courage to share your journey with others! 🙂
Thank you for your awesome comment, Yvette. I hope at some point, Amelia can log in and see all the wonderful uplifting support she is receiving. I appreciate you so much!
Thank you so much for reading. I used to fall into the same mindset as others when it came to suicide. I didn’t truly understand until I was there. I think it may be some of the most valuable information I’ve ever learned and I sincerely hope what I was lucky enough to learn can help others so that they can live through it too.
Thank you, Amelia!
A powerful guest post by Amelia and she is incredible to have come through this … stronger for opening up and sharing about the abuse. It can’t be reiterated often enough that it is never the fault of the victim but alas too often they are so shaken and traumatised they cannot see anything else but that it is their actions at fault. Horrible situation and alas far too common around the world as has been noted here.
I agree, Annika. I have so much respect and admiration for Amelia and her determination and fortitude. I just know she will help many others in similar situations! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment!
Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading my story! Yes, I agree it is WAY too common! I hope that it can become a more talked about subject so that people can possibly know what to expect and fight through it!
I admire Amelia’s courage to come forward to tell the painful truth and show the process of her sharing. She’ll be so instrumental to other who suffered the abuse to find healing. Thank you for sharing, Jan!
I completely agree, Miriam! Thank you for stopping by and sharing!
You’re welcome, Jan!
Miriam, thank you so so much for reading and for your kind words!
You’re welcome, Amelia!
I’m glad that Amelia is at peace. There’s not telling the emotional damage that child abuse can render throughout life, especially if it comes from those who are supposed to love and protect you. I hope that Amelia’s courage in telling her story brings comfort to other abuse victims.
Thank you, Pete! I totally agree and I feel that oftentimes someone can be reached easier through song than any other way. I appreciate you stopping by!
Thank you so much. I hope that it helps and I can’t thank Jan enough for being willing to post something so uncomfortable and hushed in society.
It was my pleasure, Amelia! You are like a bright light at the end of a dark tunnel! Thank you for being that light!
A painful, troubling story–all too common across America. Undoubtedly around the world as well.
Most definitely a global issue, John. Thank you for stopping by!
It’s heartbreaking how common it is, and that society has been comfortable sweeping difficult topics under the rug for so long.
A powerful video, Jan. Thank you for featuring Amelia today.
Thanks for stopping by, John! And thanks for sharing it!
😊
Thank you so much for reading and watching, John.
This touched me deeply. Such a strong message that those who suffer this aren’t alone and its going to be okay.
It was a very touching message and it also touched me deeply. That was why I had to share. I’m glad that she has found her way to and through healing and love her passion to help others. Thank you for stopping by, Denise! Hugs!
Thank you for reading! I’m so thankful that Jan was willing to put my story out there. I think that the more that we all talk about these difficult things, the more sufferers will come out of the darkness knowing they arent alone.
That is so true, Amelia. Only by shining a light on darkness, can we dispel it!
Thank you, Jan, for sharing this powerful story. People often wonder why the abused don’t speak, well…often they can’t. They have lost everything, even who they are. Time and grace restore life. I’m so, so grateful that Amelia has rediscovered her incredible strength and beauty — and her voice. ♥
It was my pleasure to share Amelia’s story. I too am glad she found her way through healing and came out with a voice that can help others. Thank you so much for stopping by, Gwen! I appreciate you!
Thank you so much, Gwen. I believe that survivors do anything they can to survive. So, keeping quiet is often a way tor survive. It should not be that way. It’s terrible that silence is more crucial to survival than speaking up because that means that not enough is being done when they speak. 🙁
Thank you for stopping by, Tonya. Abuse of any kind is hard to overcome, but Amelia, you and others are living proof that it can be done! Hugs!
Jan- This is very heartfelt and beautiful stayed. I’ve been on the receiving end of abuse (not by my sweet Rob) from a previous relationship and it’s really hard to deal with, but I did survive.
Thank you for sharing this.
Tonya, thank you so much for sharing. I’m so happy you have a loving relationship now. You deserve that! I hope you are doing everything you can to heal!