Hello, friends. You may or may have noticed I didn’t have a Monday Meanderings this week. I won’t even try to make excuses. I just didn’t get it done. It got me to thinking, though. Oh, and Happy April Fool’s Day. I promise this post isn’t a spoof.
A lot of folks who comment on my blog, or who respond to my comments on their blogs often say something about how busy I am.
So, it made me stop and think about what I project out into the world. I have been taught that what we put out in our thoughts, actions and deeds are what we get back ten-fold. Yikes!
Am I the cause of getting so busy I have absolutely NO time to complete projects, or to even stop and breathe for a minute.?
Dang it! I need to change my thoughts and my words. I need to stop talking about how I never have enough time to visit blogs, to work on my books, to market my books, etc…..
Instead…
Starting today, I’m going to try to project a calmer, less busy version of myself and see what I get back. 🙂
Does that mean some things may not get done? Probably. Does the world stop turning if they don’t? Never.
Life is full of lessons. My biggest life lesson has always been about setting boundaries for myself. It really hit me yesterday when my daughter expressed concern about me working a now set shift at the store when it started out to only be a “fill-in” job. I allowed it. And now, I have no weekends anymore to play catch-up because I’m working every weekend. I realize it’s up to me to change that. The store owner keeps trying to hire another person and none of them have worked out. But if she doesn’t hire someone soon, I am going to have to have a sit-down with her and make clear what I am willing to do instead of always stepping up to fill the gap.
So, as I wander through this maize of muddled thoughts, I wonder if I have gained any clarity.
I certainly hope so.
A good friend of my late husband and myself, Tommy Overstreet, gave me a refrigerator magnet after Rick passed away and I see it daily, but today I really SAW it.
I appreciate each of you. You matter to me. When you disappear and I stop seeing anything from you, I worry.
I often think about my friends, Rox Burkey and Joan Hall, and how when they passed, I realized how important it is to leave instructions with someone to let the writing world know. The irony is the instructions I left with my daughters was to contact Rox to let local authors know and Joan to let others know. Still, think about it. Do you have anything in place for the inevitable?
Thank you for letting me Wonder or Wander today!
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Hi Jan, I think a lot of out blogging readers become virtual friends. It is natural to chat about what’s bothering us like being to busy. Like you, I am a soft touch and get taken advantage of my colleagues. This is why I’ve ended up leaving my job. I wish you luck finding balance. I have no plans in place for when I stop blogging and other SM.
I just discovered I didn’t reply to comments from a week ago, and I’m wondering what I did last week that took up so much time – because it sure wasn’t writing. So I get what you’re saying, Jan, and that magnet states it perfectly. Have a great week!
Lol, Teri. Yep! I understand!
I missed this yesterday. I’ve said much the same thing to you that your daughter said and I agree with her. You’re always rushing here or there with no time for yourself. Rick was always telling you to slow down but you still haven’t. I don’t have anything in place for when I pass and I need to do that. Not sure who to designate other than you.
So glad you stopped by, sister. I am a work in progress. And you can designate me but also someone from your writer group. Always something to consider. Love you!
Hi Jan,
I have just discovered your blog and found this post very interesting and thought provoking. I look forward to having a look around your site and reading more.
Hi, Lynn. I’m happy our found me and hope you’ll come back again.
I sure will come back
I recently bought a book called “I’m Dead, Now What?” Each page is meant for you to fill in all the information one will need to take care of your affairs once you’ve passed. I’ve left my blog sign-in information in there so that someone can write a post about my passing (which hopefully will not happen for many, many more years). I want to make sure that wrapping up my affairs is as easy as possible to those who I leave behind.
Like you, I am always busy and say it quite often. I have found moments of lull recently and am enjoying them. I’m about to start writing my next book. It’s been living in my head more vividly recently, so I know it’s time to start getting the words out. So, I’ll need to restructure some of my activities, but writing is always worth it.
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
First of all, I love your new site look, Jan! And what a great post! I’ve stepped back from blogging, now only 2 or 3 times a month, which is a huge change for me. But as much as I miss my friends (like you), my book projects are getting the attention they deserve. It’s a conundrum, for sure! I think after 15 years, it was time for a change while also keeping my online presence. If I lose followers, then so be it. But my inner circle like you and others are still coming around for which I’m grateful. Anyway, I hope you figure out what you need to do for you! Also, I’ve told my son that if anything happens to me, he’ll have to do a blog post. But let’s hope that time doesn’t come for at least two plus decades! 🙂 Take good care! xo
I absolutely LOVE your comment, Lauren. I hadn’t even noticed that you’d cut back on blogging. 🙂 I just show up when you have something. Isn’t that an interesting observation? The fact is we cannot do it all without the money to hire a team, so we have to decide what’s more important – blogging or producing more books. I choose books!! I’m glad you like the new site. I’m super happy with it. I’m glad you have the understanding with your son. I do think it’s important to have something in place. Thank you SO much for visiting! Hugs!
Sorry for the late reply, Jan! I’m glad you loved my comment and I loved yours! I hope all is well! Hugs back! xoxo
I wish you success in your efforts to bring more calm and peace into your life. Boot out the things that are stealing “YOU” and spend the time on your goal.
Thank you for the encouragement, Pat!!
Part time jobs never are, because you become the ideal person to fill in. My friend took on a two days a week assistant manager at a charity shop. The following week the manger resigned and she was landed with taking over!
Wow! That’s extreme! I am definitely not going to take on more but at the same time I am grateful for the income. Thank you for stopping by, Janet!
Great post, Jan 🙂 I have a tendency to do the same. Why I’ve burnt myself out. Luckily my rebellious side kicks in and demands my attention to do something different, like self care. Yes, we do have to pay attention to those thoughts and what we allow. As for my plans when something happens to me, I do have my daughter but I need to leave her some contacts too. Good reminder.
I’m glad you have a rebellious side that demands your attention to self-care, Denise. Apparently, I didn’t get that module. 🙂 Yes, do give your daughter instructions. We are all left to wonder when someone drops off the blogging circuit without an announcement. I often think about Harmony and always hope she is maintaining. Thank you for stopping by!
I have the same worries when our writing friends disappear.
I hear you so well, loiud, and clear! The same thoughts are running through my mind and heart more and more often. There is a lot of work coming from the authority to my business which is a big deal regarding time and costs. Meanwhile, I am like, “ok, if that all crosses a specific limit line, I turn the key to my business”. I still have my employed job too and can easily expand working time there. Then I have more money plus more time. It makes me think that something like that happened in the past time over and over again. I started this and that, said yes to help out, and suddenly I was buried under obligations because I did not have the heart to end anything… until the pressure got too heavy. I think that is why I am not so sensitive anymore when it comes to decisions. However, I can totally relate to your feelings and the fact that you literally have no room for breathing anymore.
I hope the situation solves by finding a new employee soon or otherwise that you stand tall for yourself! I love that magnet. It is so easy to forget oneself when running in a hamsterwheel for others. Thanks for your honest words which speak to my heart, Jan 💖
I am so glad you could relate, Erika. Life can certainly present us with challenges, can’t it? What we do with those challenges is up to us. We all reach crossroads in life that require decisions. I have talked with the store owner and made sure she understands that for me this arrangement is temporary. She agrees and reiterated she is trying to find someone. I pray the right person comes along. And yes, the magnet really got my attention, even though I see it daily. Thanks so much for stopping by, Erika and sharing your thoughts. Hugs!
I always enjoy exchanging thoughts with like-minded souls like you. It is a good feeling to see that many struggle with similar issues It already helps and motivates 💖
I have written instructions on what to do when I pass. Included is how to let people know and to close my blog. As we get closer to that day, it seems the right thing to do. As for you being busy. I think you have been busy since I started following you. I would say you have the power to unwind any part of what you are doing. I just wonder if you would be happier doing so. I must say, folks who stop visiting you because you don’t visit them might be okay to let go. Anyway, hope you work it out to your own satisfaction.
As always, John, your wisdom is spot on. You may be right about me being happier staying busy. That is true, but then there is a limit also. That’s what I’m visiting. 🙂 Glad to hear you have written instructions. I do, as well, but now I need to modify them since Rox Burkey and Joan have passed away. Thank you so much for stopping by!
You’re thoughts are similar to many I’ve had, Jan. It seems there are never enough hours to complete the list of tasks and the list continues to expand. So many of us need to take the advice on your fridge and never leave ourselves behind. ❤️
Thank you for your comment, Karen. It helps sometimes to know we are not alone. As Craig said, sometimes we simply have to say no when enough is enough. I’m going to really take the advice on the fridge magnet to heart!
A lot of it is generational. We were always pressed to do more and accomplish more. I feel the frustrations on days when it just isn’t working. I am trying to adjust, but retirement is kind of its own trip. It sounds like your store has you doing the same dance. Sometimes you just have to say no.
I agree about the generational programming, Craig. This younger generation doesn’t have that same drive. Adjusting to retirement is a whole new arena. And yes, I agree. Sometimes we just have to say, “no!” Thank you for your comment!
Only you can make the changes dear Jan, only you. Your health is so important.
I am sorry to hear about Rox, and Jan [I did not know Jan] I did wonder why I no longer see her hanging around RRBC. Here is my email if you could let me know what happened to her. joygerken@yahoo.co.uk
Your husband’s message is lovely is apt.
Hi, Joy. You are so right in that we are the only ones who can make changes in our lives. It’s all up to us. Rox passed away in August of last year and Joan a couple of months later. They are sorely missed. Rox was battling cancer, then developed RSV and didn’t survive it all. Thank you for stopping by.
I’m on the same path of setting boundaries to live a less frazzled life. It’s good to know I’m not alone on that path!
You are definitely not alone, Liz! Thank you for taking the time to visit! Hugs!
You’re welcome, Jan! 🤗
It’s hard to slow down, Jan. It’s even harder to say no to people who are counting on you. People have to have priorities, and you have to be one of yours.
So very true, Dan. That is my realization for sure. It’s not even a matter of slowing down, but rearranging. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Yes, Jan, deal with the situations the best you can. I hope it goes well for you. 💖🙏
Absolutely, Tim. It’s always up to us how we handle situations life throws at us.
😍
You picked the cutest feature image, what an adorable little child. Anyway, yes, I have a list of to-do’s for my sweet husband if I pass before he does.
I loved that sweet child’s face, Priscilla. Glad you have the arrangement with your husband and while we never want to think about it, it’s still a reality. Thank you for visiting!
Great thoughts, Jan – don’t be too critical of yourself, be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone else.
Ah, Toni, that is SO true! We tend to take life too seriously. After all, as Hank Williams said, we will never get out of here alive. 🙂
I can empathize. It’s hard for people like us to say no and to slow down. I struggle with this myself. Sending hugs.xo
Thank you, Darlene. I don’t necessarily want to slow down, but simply re-arrange how I spend my days. 🙂 I appreciate the hugs and sending them back to you.
A thought provoking post today Jan and I do get it… particularly about letting people know if there is going to be a protracted absence or sadly if something more dire happens… My husband has a note he will put out if anything happens to me on the blog and social media. I hope you manage to arrange your hours so you can spend the time as you wish… you know we all love to see you as well.. ♥
Oh, dear Sally, thank you for your poignant comment. I like that your husband knows to put out a note if anything happens to you. I think it’s important for what we do and the communities we’ve formed around the world. I think the biggest part of any change is being aware of what needs to change. Hugs!