Welcome to another Wednesday and a look at another awesome ‘W’ word!

Today, we’re going to dive deep into ‘Worthy.’
This one carries a lot of weight. Because of so much background programming, we often feel we are not worthy of success, of love, of wonderful things. So, let’s take a look.
We tend to associate our ‘worthiness’ to our output. Did we complete all our chores, do a good job at work, go above and beyond? It’s almost like we feel as if we must earn our spot on the planet. But is that really true?
Is there really a secret committee of experts who decide when we are finally “ready” or “worthy?”
We wait for the promotion to feel like a leader, or wait for the publisher to feel like a writer. Or maybe we wait for the “perfect” body to feel worthy of the beach.
Feeling worthy of anything better is especially difficult for those who have been in abusive situations, or who may be addicted to alcohol or drugs. They often feel they don’t deserve more.
However, true worthiness is an internal claim. It’s the difference between saying “I hope they think I’m good enough” and “I know what I bring to the table.” We are ultimately the ones who establish our worth, not someone else.
When you wait for someone to deem you worthy, you hand over your power to their timeline and their biases.
I’ve always been a people-pleaser. But I’ve learned that is often a survival mechanism designed to avoid the pain of being “unworthy” of love or not belonging. I have often felt if I said “no,” or set a boundary, it made me difficult or bad. And, throughout life, I’ve often over-extended myself to ensure another person stays happy. Being a people-pleaser isn’t a bad thing if it is within certain healthy boundaries. External approval is a moving target.
Let’s face it. Life’s full of lessons and this word really brings up a lot for me.
So, here’s a thought — “Worthiness isn’t a prize to be won, but a light to be found.”
Let’s talk. Is this something you’ve ever struggled with? How did you overcome it?
This is a good word. I think many of us struggle with worthiness. Even if you had wonderful loving parents, as I did, it is still an issue. I think we feel so good about feeling worthy, which parents often do, we want the feeling all the time. So we compare others’ love and admiration against your parents, and they often don’t live up to your expectations. I hope I’m making sense.
That is a very interesting thought, Darlene. The human psyche is so complex and affected by many different events throughout life. I think you made a good point. Thank you for this thoughtful comment.
Years ago I saw a quote about our worthiness not being tied to what we do but who we are. It’s really stuck with me.
I love that, Priscilla. It’s so true. Thank you for leaving a comment.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown more confident in knowing what I bring to the table. I also like what Priscilla said about worthiness being tied to who we are. Excellent word choice this week, Jan!
Thanks, Teri. I’m happy you stopped by, Teri and left a comment. I too, have grown more confident in my old age, knowing what I can bring to a table. Glad you enjoyed this week’s word!!
I’ve often struggled with being worthy, especially when I was beginning this writing journey. I felt like I was an imposter and unworthy of calling myself a writer, even after I began winning awards and getting noticed. However, as I have gotten older, that changed. I no longer feel I have to be validated to be confident in my work. I don’t care as much what people think and I can look at my 50+ books with pride and know I did my best. I have accepted I’ll never be a Colleen Hoover or Kristen Hannah. And I’m content with the meager success God has given me.
Exactly, sister! I love how you’ve claimed your worth. I think we both struggled a lot with self-worth because of the way we grew up, ostracized by our peers and never really belonging everywhere. It takes a lot of work to deprogram that thinking. Thank you for stopping by and adding your thoughts. What you’ve accomplished is amazing and definitely WORTHY!! Love you!
Wise words though difficult to own.
It seems to be something we’ve all struggled with throughout life, Jacqui. But we learn as we get older and things that we place value on indemnify our worth.
I’ve struggled with this one, but have gotten better with it as I’ve aged. Once in a while that word still sinks in. Good word and topic, Jan!
Isn’t it interesting that in all the comments, everyone seems to have struggled with self-worth through life. A nice thing about getting older is realizing our true worth! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Hi Jan, somehow, a lot of us seem to be programmed to feel unworthy. Your words resonate with me and I’ve always pushed myself and been a totally overachiever. It’s only recently, that I’ve made peace with my own ideas of self worth and come to the conclusion that people I interact with, especially at work, use people’s general inclinations towards feelings of unworthiness as a whip to get more out of them. The younger generations seem to have a better idea of their self worth.
I honestly don’t know how we get so “beaten down” in life and struggle with self-worth, but it also seems that we find our way back through life experiences. I agree that the younger generations appear to have a better idea of self-worth. I don’t think it’s anything bad our parents did, as least not intentionally. Who knows? Humans are complex creatures. Thank you for stopping by!
BTW, your posts are not appearing in the WP Reader or on my WP lists anymore. I don’t know why. I’m finding your posts through email only. Is you blog no longer a WP blog?
Thanks, Robbie. Yes, I am aware that my blog has stopped showing up on the WP Reader and I am trying to get support to help me figure out why. Hopefully I can get it back. I don’t know what happened.
This post made me sad. So many women put the wants and needs of others above their own for their entire lives.
As a youngster, before I had “worthiness” in my vocabulary, I thought my mother simply did not like me. To protect my feelings, I told myself that for anyone who didn’t like me, it was their loss not mine. Now, after reading your post, and thinking back, I believe it was more a case of being found unworthy. The good that came out of it is that I realized early on that anything I wanted, such as a college education or that horse I pined for–I would have to get them for myself.
I’m sorry the post made you sad, Pat, but it seems to have hit a chord with lots of folks. For you, it’s good you found some self-worth earlier on in life. For many of us, it seems to have taken getting older and having more life experience. Thank you so much for your comment.
Very meaningful thoughts about feeling worthy, Jan.